Al Gore: an agent of Satan or Satan himself?

"Condoms don't belong in school, and neither does Al Gore. He's not a schoolteacher," said Frosty Hardison, a parent of seven who also said that he believes the Earth is 14,000 years old. "The information that's being presented is a very cockeyed view of what the truth is. ... The Bible says that in the end times everything will burn up, but that perspective isn't in the DVD."

More anti-science hand-wringing from the crowd that thinks Bill Nye is a gateway habit on the way to hardcore porn and snorting crystal meth off gay hookers.

How long of a marshmallow-roasting stick do you need to get a nice perfect toast over the smoldering coals of post-Apocalypse Boston?

Now in 2007 ... Jesus?

Every year comes in with its entourage of predictions and resolutions, and, in keeping with this, the AP has conducted a whats-a-gonna happ'n? survey, so that those of us fools who, you know, prefer to make predictions on actual evidence can be told what's likely to happen by the gestalt powers of man-on-the-street groupthink. Shamefully, there are no stock tips in the predictions.

There is, however, the giganto-massive guh-huh-WHA? that any clearlthinking adult will stumble into halfway down the article: apparently, one in every four Americans think Jesus will be walking the earth by this time next year.

Come again? Clearly this is one of those articles that should be prefaced at the beginning by "please install spittle protector on screen before reading." It's hard not to be shocked by the fact that a full quarter of our country legitimately believes that a man dead now for two millenia will likely be strolling around the Earth within a year. There's a lot of smart Christians out there, but I'm willing to be that most of them aren't really expecting to call up Jesus to ask for gift-buying advice next December.

It's easy to file this fact up in "depressing realizations about the world" along with the fact that Rivers Cuomo thinks that Panic! At The Disco is 'avant-garde', but I would suggest this one belongs better under the "massively worrisome catastrophes" file cabinet.

How did this happen to our country?

It's Jesus' Fault?

"The Editors" at Poor Man raises a question I haven't seen before -- can/should the impending Republican collapse be blamed on the fundamentalist wing of the GOP? Riffing on Ross Douthat, "Editors" says no:

It’s not just that the “smart set” of non-theo Republicanism have been responsible for unpopular politics - they’ve been bad policies, bad ideas poorly executed, and they’ve seriously damaged the country in a way that, say, anti-gay marriage initiatives, the Terri Schiavo circus, and all the stem cell baloney have not and could not. [...]

The Crazy Jesus People have a problem with science and liberalism and modernity, but that problem is basically psychological - the modern world makes it hard to hold on to comforting beliefs about this omnipotent fellow named “God” - who looks a lot like you, incidentally - waking up 6,000 years ago and creating the world from nothing and helpfully recording it all for posterity. You can fix the psychological problem with a gesture, some display of authority and power and relevence that makes the CJPs feel respectable - force kids to pretend to beg favors of this “God” person before class, for example - and that’s pretty much all they want out of politics. Other Republicans have different kinds of problems with science and liberalism and modernity - financial concerns, political concerns, foreign policy concerns - and these problems are real world problems, and fixing them requires taking control of the day-to-day workings of the government. And, when this stuff doesn’t work as planned, and it turns out that you are a half-educated dipshit with a head full of Ayn Rand and hairplugs, it requires a scapegoat. Blaming liberals and scientists and Teh Gay has a broad-based appeal; but, should old alliances no longer be benificial, you can blame the Crazy Jesus People, too.

Quite right. Just as we cannot let the commentariat and the Republican intellectuals save their credibility by pegging Bush as a liberal (Digby's favorite topic), we also cannot let them slough their problems off onto the religious wingnuts. It is conservatism itself that has failed America, and liberals like us have to remember that.