Op-Ed: Let Detroit Go Bankrupt

Well, there goes Romney 2012.

Which Party is Mitt Romney in?

From his speech tonight:

It's time for the party of big ideas, not the party of Big Brother!

Yeah. You know, Sarah Palin was certainly a bad choice, but when you consider the alternatives...

And here's a fun fact: In the official text the RNC released of Gov. Palin's speech, they twice spelled "nuclear" phonetically, as "new-clear." So if she has to assume the Presidency, at least she'll be more qualified to serve than George Bush in that regard.

Veepstakes

I think this Wall Street Journal article hit the nail on the head with their short-list of VPs for both McCain and Obama.

For Obama: Evan Bayh, Joe Biden, Hillary Clinton, Chris Dodd, Tim Kaine, Jack Reed, Kathleen Sebelius.

For McCain: Charlie Crist, Carly Fiorina, Sarah Palin, Tim Pawlenty, Rob Portman, Mitt Romney, John Thune.

I don't think Obama will choose Chris Dodd, Tim Kaine, or Kathleen Sebelius. Dodd because of his connections to the insurance and banking industries. Kaine because he just doesn't seem to offer that much to the ticket besides being from VA and another "outsider." He lacks foreign policy experience, national name recognition, etc. If Obama is inexperienced (of course he isn't, but...), Kaine is a baby. Sebelius because some former Clintonites might be offended that he would pick a woman who wasn't Hillary, and also for the same reasons Kaine is unlikely (no foreign policy experience). I think Bayh, Biden, Clinton, and Reed would all be excellent picks for different reasons, but Reed is still by far my favorite.

As for McCain, I think Crist, Fiorina, and Palin are unlikely. I don't have as many reasons for that. Just more of a hunch. My picks remain Portman, Romney, or Thune. Pawlenty has proven himself, at least in my opinion, to be really boring on the talk show circuit. Portman might also be boring, but he brings major economic street cred. Of course Romney Mittens Guy Smiley would be a dream come true. Thune would be a good pick, although being pretty far right wing, would have some major policy disagreements with McCain.

Guy Smiley on the stump.
How can people like this man? Seriously.

GOP VP Predictions!

I honestly have no idea who Obama will pick, but I'm willing to make a prediction on the McCain side of the equation.

I think it will be 1) Mitt Romney 2) Rob Portman or 3) John Thune.

I hope it will be Mittens! Oh, how I miss that adorable plastic exoskeleton and all of the beautiful clips that can be played and replayed about him:

ROBOT MAKES JOKES

for some reason, i've always had an odd soft spot for mitt romney. he was so delightfully and carefully manufactured, so insincere. his absurdity belied what i think is his true self: a smart, pragmatic moderate, willing to bridge divides with sane, comprehensive policy. though i hated the candidate--on the surface, there really was nothing to love about a man who out-tanredo'ed tancredo--i respected the man that, i thought, resided beneath his shallow, lacquered veneer. the problem, though, is that romney--and, to an extent, the republican base--was unable to accept the plausibility of a moderate republican as a candidate and as a president. he resorted to obfuscating his record and his positions, his ideology and his education, and, in the process, diluted his value as a public servant. if he had avoided the quasi-reactionary varnish and accepted his moderate politics, he could have been a contender---albeit one that would have lost to the democratic nominee in the fall. it's good to see that he has a manufactured sense of humor, at least.

Farewell to Mittens

It is with great sadness that I bid a fond farewell to Willard Mitt Romney, who suspended his presidential campaign today. Mittens was an inspiration to us all, especially those of us who someday want to become Republicans. So I leave you with this poignant reminder of a younger, happier Mitt (not to mention Teddy K), whose success in politics and life is a shining example of the power of really good hair to make everyone forget about your record.

Clinton carries primaries??

After spending last night glued to an CNN internet feed and watching Obama and Clinton nearly evenly split the delegates, I was surprised to find the title "Clinton, McCain Carry Primaries: less than 'super' night for Obama and Romney in nomination contests" at the front of today's Harvard Crimson. While McCain certainly did carry the day and Romney is in a lot of trouble, I was shocked to see the note about Obama. Had they been reading the same 5 websites that I had open on my computer last night?

While rampant optimism had been running through the Obama camp in the last few weeks, realists were aware that it was unlikely that Obama would win a majority of states. His practical hope lay with the possibility of coming close enough to Clinton in terms of delegates that he could continue to compete in the following weeks. While Clinton may have had some surprisingly strong showings (Especially considering all the talk of the "Obama Surge") , Obama's victory in a majority of super Tuesday states was all that he could have pragmatically hoped for. As an Obama supporter, I was certainly satisfied.

However, whoever came up with the Crimson front page article apparently felt that Obama hadn't performed up to expectations. The title was clearly picked by either A) an overly optimistic Obama supporter or B) a Hillary supporter seeking to stress her candidate's achievements. While I'm not suggesting that the title was maliciously unfair, it clearly was a mis-characterization of the night's occurrences, and apparently the Crimson Staff agreed (or at least got enough complaints from Obama supporters that it decided to change the article). The article's title now reads (on the crimson website) "McCain Carries Primaries, Clinton and Obama Trade Victories", which I believe that Obama and Hillary supporters can agree is a fairer description of the night.

The Crimson clarification reads as follows:

The Feb. 6 story "McCain, Clinton Carry Primaries," was put to press before full results became known from California. As a result, it said that Senator Hillary Clinton of New York had outperformed Senator Barack Obama of Illinois in yesterday's "Super Tuesday" contests. In fact, while Clinton won the major states of New York and California, the complex manner in which delegates are awarded means that the Clinton now has only a narrow lead in the total number of delegates. Additionally, Obama won 13 states yesterday, while Clinton won just nine.

I don't know at what hour the Crimson goes to press, but I still feel that even before the California results came in that it was clear that the delegate difference would not be so big. However, considering my bias, there's a limit to how much as I can argue. Either way, I'm glad that they decided to insert that clarification, and I hope that Harvard students will pay attention. The quest for the nomination still continues.

Debate Factcheck

Romney just said in the Florida GOP debate that the United States has the second highest tax rate behind Japan.

Ummm... that's simply not true. I'm so glad you could be the steward of our economy.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Image:Income_Taxes_By_Country.svg

Huckabee also said that just because we didn't find WMDs in Iraq, it doesn't mean they weren't there.  He compared WMDs to easter eggs.  Fantastic....

The triumphant return of the Sunday Screening

Ha ha! You thought I'd given up, didn't you? Just because the last Sunday Screening was all the way back in November -- well, seven thousand pages of academic writing later, I'm back and ready again to subject you all to mind-numbingly obscure bits of YouTube irrelevancy. Like the above -- do you realize what an enormous selection of TV signon/signoff clips YouTube has? Unbelievable. Every era, every location. I considered devoting an entire post to them, but then I decided I should at least make an effort to retain my tiny, precious audience... if you're interested, though, start at these nuggets of pure gold and work your way out from there. Nothing captures the aesthetic of a given time and place quite so perfectly, I contend, as its incidental TV graphics.

But what I've been fixated on lately is this fascinating footage of Mitt Romney arguing with a reporter. Look:

Now, leaving aside the factual content here (and the press secretary's incredibly douchey reprimand at the end), my question is: WHY would Romney's people put him in front of a rack of office supplies? My God are they trying to make him look like a bland corporate automaton? BALLPOINT PENS, for crying out loud. Not even an aisle of cool office supplies, like printers. No. PENS. You could not ask for anything more banal. The obvious allegory here is The Office--

--which perfectly captures just those mindless, soulless Ward-Cleaver-with-a-low-IQ tendencies that Romney's working so hard to hide. (I wish there was video somewhere of the scene from Season 3 where Michael confronts Dwight in an actual Staples; the aesthetic is just perfect.)

Speaking of The Office, I want to promote this video made last year by the Harvard undergrad Government Department. I'm late to this party (h/t: Dani Rodrik back in December), but it's well worth your time; who knew that Gov had so much deeply rooted anxiety?

...Really that's what The Office, and its derivatives, are about: anxiety. These are programs about people who are unsure of their places in the world, lacking confidence in the structures that are supposed to support them. In the Scranton, Pa., that The Office shows us, life is basically meaningless; Jim Halpert, the "beta male" hero, always gives that Kafkaesque look to the camera that asks -- both hilariously and heartbreakingly -- "What am I doing here?" We haven't seen this kind of ennui creeping into the popular culture since the paranoia films of the 1970s. It's an indicator of a nation, and particularly an economy, in serious trouble.

Mitt Romney's campaign, it seems, does not recognize this. They certainly are not playing the symbological game very well (as vs., for instance, Obama); he's running a nice conventional GOP campaign that will win him a nice conventional 40%. And meanwhile they've got Mike Huckabee, who I'll leave you with, nipping at their heels making just this argument -- don't let anybody tell you America's not a class-conscious society...

Yay, Mittens!

Here's to our good friend Willard, who just picked up 34 delegates in the Nevada primary. (Or, at any rate, Politico's called it for him.) South Carolina results will come out later today, but the polls are showing Mike Huckabee and John McCain at the top of the race, and Mittens hasn't graced the state with his beautiful hair. For whatever reason, Romney was the only big name in the GOP field to campaign much in Nevada, even though it has more delegates than South Carolina. Hopefully this means more great attack ads:

Mittens for Giuliani

Joining the ranks of Trotskyites for John McCain, we have Mitt Romney for Rudy Giuliani. Rudy's put out a new ad in Florida, interrupting naps across the state with faux-momentous music over a slew of quotes from various conservatives (Norquist, Forbes, Will) about Rudy's reputation as a fiscally conservative tax-cutter. It closes with a quote from... well, you'll have to watch.

Needless to say, Mittens for America is none too happy about this move, as the quote was, predictably, taken somewhat out of context. Commenting in an interview after a Michigan debate, Romney said:

The line-item veto is the best tool the president has to reign in excessive spending, and Mayor Giuliani has a great record of cutting taxes and cutting spending, although, according to the Mayor, Mayor Bloomberg, that followed him, he said that he left excessive deficits for him. But he’s cut spending, he cut taxes, I cut spending, I cut taxes. But the real difference between us is that when it came to the line-item veto, I’m in favor of it.

Personally, I think the line-item veto is pretty awesome, since it can be used (and has been, in my home state) to make legislation absolutely unrecognizable, through the technique of amending budget numbers from "$250,000,000" to "$2" or striking out little words like "not." Sadly for the creative writers among us, though, after two years of Bill Clinton enjoying that particular power, the line-item veto was ruled unconstitutional - in a case brought by the City of New York under the authority of none other than Mayor Rudy Giuliani. So there you have it, kids: Mittens is for the line-item veto, but also for Rudy, who's against the line-item veto, or at any rate was against the line-item veto back in the late 90's, but by Romney standards that by no means equates to opposing it now. (No word yet on how left-handed leprechauns feel about the line-item veto.) I fully expect his hair to explode early next week.

And that's not even negative campaigning by Republican standards

Apparently when Willard "Mitten" Romney won the Michigan primary earlier this week, his victory speech cut into John McCain's concession speech, in a violation of traditional campaign protocol. Apparently the McCain campaign was pissed. Apparently this developed before the talking-over-one another began. Here's the Times on what one of the McCain people had to say:

Before the race was called, Steve Schmidt, an adviser to the McCain campaign, told reporters gathered here that, “Mitt Romney has an amazing capacity that many of us hold in awe to be able to look anyone in the eye and tell them that the blue sky is red, that the yellow sun is pink, but at the end of the day, in a presidential contest, voters want someone who will tell them the truth.’’

“Mitt Romney has proven over the last year a truly amazing capacity to pander, to mislead, to engage in cynical, negative politics,’’ he said. “But at the end of the day, I don’t think that any of that accounts for his win, if he holds it tonight, if he holds onto that win. What will account for it is that he is a Michigander who won the Michigan primary. ‘’

“The American people will have a choice between a leader who leads, and somebody who goes out and puts their finger in the air, and says my pollster just told me that resonates with left-handed leprechauns, so this is what I ought to say.’’’

All this time I've overlooked the crucial left-handed leprechaun vote. Quick, someone smarter than me should extrapolate an anti-Mormon slur from that reference and create a twelve-hour media storm!

"Do you want this primary season to be over? Or do you want this primary season to be hilarious?"

I nominate this video, promoting Michigan Democrats for Mitt, as the highlight of the 2008 campaign season. Awesomeness.

UPDATE: Also, Mitt Romney is such a ridiculous stereotype. Emphasis mine:

Mr. Romney, who has invested most heavily in capturing the Republican delegates to be selected through Tuesday’s Michigan primary, spent the morning speaking to more than 2,000 students at Grand Blanc High School. Though the size of the crowd was impressive, few were old enough to vote and the assembly was mandatory for students.

In a somewhat disjointed speech at the school, Mr. Romney struggled at times with how to engage his teenage audience, starting off with an analogy from a decades-old game show, “Let’s Make a Deal,” about the choices the students faced. Then he trotted out some of his favorite anecdotes, including one about Mike Eruzione, a hero of the 1980 United States Olympic hockey team.

Dressed in a suit and tie, Mr. Romney talked variously about “inflection points” in American history, urged the students to get married before having kids, and warned teenagers about getting “hooked” on drugs, saying “your life’s income and your happiness quotient will actually go right down to the basement.”

"Now kids, you might think it's 'hip' to go 'hang' with your 'pals' and 'smoke reefer' while you listen to 'Puff Daddy' and the 'Rolling Stones'. But do you know who your real pal is? Jesus! Would Jesus 'smoke reefer'?"

...In fairness to Romney, though: Let's Make a Deal was great.

Gem from last night's GOP debate

I just noticed this, but I thought it was great. Here are the Republicans talking about Barack Obama:

John McCain to Mitt Romney: "We disagree on a lot of issues... But I agree you are the candidate of change."

I had to think about that one for a second, but he got Mitten there.

Obama, Huckabee Win in Iowa!

Well, it appears Obama has edged out Clinton and Edwards (who are in a dead heat for 2nd) roughly 37% to 30% to 30%.

A huge influx of first-time caucus participants, of independents, and even a few Republicans handed Obama the victory, along with the fact that he was the #2 choice for many Richardson, Biden, Dodd, Kucinich supporters.

For those who aren't familiar, the way the Iowa Caucus works on the Democratic side, if your candidate does not get 15% of the votes in the precinct, he/she fails to meet the threshhold and then you can switch to vote for someone else.  That Bill Richardson and Joe Biden faired so poorly in the caucus is not reflective of their actual support.  In most precincts they failed to meet the threshhold and so their supporters switched to support another candidate, probably Obama in large numbers.

But the real story of the night is why Howard Dean, who I just saw on MSNBC, looks exactly like Howard the Duck now.  Did anyone else see that?  I'll post a video when I can find it.