Sunday Screening

Everybody, this is Corb Lund. Corb, this is everybody. Now that we're all acquainted, let's hear some music.

CORB LUND is Canadian -- I know, me writing about Canadian music, you're shocked -- from Alberta, to be specific, and he plays country music (variously, along "the Corb Lund Band" or, lately, the wonderfully named "Hurtin' Albertans"). But it's not really country like most people understand it. Yes, there's yodeling in this song (which is part of a long tradition, actually, going back to Jimmie Rodgers who is arguably the founder of country music); but more than that, Corb Lund's music is just weird. Dense, inscrutable, sometimes deliberately stupid and sometimes deadly serious; you won't hear much else like it. Here's another example:

Now, I'm no fan of that video -- can't quite tell if it's a deliberate throwback to grunge, or just cheap and ADD-addled, but either way I'll pass -- but the song is just great. (That line: "This is grape juice and cheap vodka, man! This isn't even wine!" kills me every time. Not to mention it's an excuse to bring up the recent ridiculousness involving PZ Myers and a Communion wafer, which you should look at if you need more proof that this country's religious right is completely unhinged). You can hear the obvious Dylan influence in this one, but it's got that rootsy twist to it that adds a new dimension. Here's another, much more serious (and political) song -- follow the lyrics now:

Corb Lund's music, like a lot of Canadian rock, is an acquired taste. (I'm thinking here specifically of the Tragically Hip, whose songs are so dense both lyrically and musically that it often takes dozens of listenings before you can unravel them -- and that's not counting the YEARS of radio acclimation you need before you can get past Gord Downie's weird-ass voice.) But once you acquire it, man, do you ever acquire it; I've been spending a lot of time lately trying to tease out "Expectation and the Blues," under the logic that any country song which rhymes "over-intellectualize" with "self-actualize" must be worth understanding. (Here's a little low-quality snippet, if you're hardy enough to try it for yourself).

And it's not like he doesn't have a sense of humor. Here's "The Truck Got Stuck," one of Corb's most irresistibly dumb and catchy songs -- I warn you now, this is a talking blues about trucks getting stuck in mud, and if you hear it you WILL have it playing in your head for days. Listen:

(Agriculture Canada is our equivalent of the USDA, incidentally. Many Canadian federal agencies are just the name of what they do with the word "Canada" tacked on -- "Health Canada", ""Environment Canada", "Sport Canada", "Western Economic Diversification Canada", etc. You get used to it.)

Anyway; if you want to hear more Corb Lund, his albums are in all the usual places. I recommend eMusic, which sells real DRM-free MP3s at sensible prices ($10 for 30), and has a catalog of everything you need (they just don't carry the major labels, which is fine, because all that mainstream shit is on the filesharing networks anyway). Meanwhile, enjoy the rest of your weekends; this is an open thread.

Why I want to become a Supreme Court Justice

I've decided to climb back out of my virtual hole to share with you two reasons why Supreme Court Justice should be above Fireman, President, and Jedi Knight on every kid's list of dream jobs (mostly this is actually just a way of showing off that I've read the New York Times every day this week, but I think you'll enjoy it nonetheless).

First, Barack Obama isn't the only prominent Bob Dylan fan. Apparently Chief Justice John Roberts is too, so much so that he cited a Dylan lyric in an opinion last week. While he gets points for being more original than the 19 judges who have cited Dylan's "You don’t need a weatherman to know which way the wind blows" from "Subterranean Homesick Blues," Roberts commits the ultimate sin of getting the lyrics of "Like a Rolling Stone" wrong. O.M.G. I mean, if you're going to put a Dylan lyric in an opinion, you might as well go the full length and include the double negative: "When you ain't got nothing, you got nothing to lose."

Why this is awesome: That line is now a freaking law which will have to be considered as precedent for every court decision in this country from now on. HOW AMAZING IS THAT. Ok, fine, he actually wrote it in a dissenting opinion. But if I were a Supreme Court Justice writing a majority opinion, I could make anything I want into a law, and it would require a Constitutional amendment to overturn it! It brings a whole new meaning to "Activist Judges"!
Can mentally challenged people vote? Yes: "I'm not crazy, I'm just a little unwell."
Is Communism a national security threat? No: "If you go carrying pictures of Chairman Mao, you ain't going to make it with anyone anyhow."
And if I ever heard a child rape case, my entire opinion could be the lyrics to "Don't Stand So Close To Me".

Speaking of child rape, that brings me to my Second Awesome Thing. Apparently writing a Supreme Court opinion doesn't require you to actually know things, as long as no one else remembers to tell them to you.

It turns out that when Justice Kennedy based last week's decision that child rapists cannot be put to death partly on the fact that the Federal government doesn't allow it, he was...well...wrong. In 2006 the Uniform Code of Military Justice was amended by Congress to allow the death penalty for members of the Armed Forces who rape a child. Oh, and the last execution by the military came in 1961...for the rape of an 11-year-old girl.

But Kennedy gets no blame for this mistake, because none of the 10 briefs filed in the case mentioned this law. Here are some of the people who missed this:

• Sen. John Warner and Rep. Duncan Hunter, the sponsors of the bill that contained that provision.

• George W. Bush, who signed the bill into law.
• The staffer(s) who presumably explained to the President what all the big words in the bill meant.
• The Solicitor General, whose job it is to write briefs defending Federal laws.
• The lawyers for both sides of the case.
• All nine Justices.
• The military.

Whoops.

Why this is awesome: First, I could be incorrect and it wouldn't matter; other people would get blamed! And second, Kennedy's decision effectively nullified that portion of the Uniform Code, meaning I could strike down laws I don't even know exist! HOW CRAZY IS THAT.

And finally a reward from myself and the Capitol Steps for reading this far: