McCain: "Stop the campaign, I want to get off"

"Suspending the campaign," eh? Out of Patriotic Concern? Right when the polls and the electoral map are quickly sliding out of his grasp, and the issue of the week happens to bring out all his vulnerabilities? What utter bullshit. Just like three weeks ago when Patriotic Concern over a semi-serious hurricane conveniently bumped President 24% and Vice President Obviously Evil right out of the prime-time convention schedule. These guys are pathetic.

You know what it reminds me of? I'll tell you a personal story. I was a fat kid -- I'm still a big, portly dude, but when I was a kid I was humongous -- and like all fat kids, I hated gym class. So in 5th grade I concocted a brilliant strategy: whenever it was time to run laps around the yard, by far my least favorite activity, I'd conveniently tell Mrs. Rainford that I "had to go to the bathroom," and return just as the class was finishing up. (It worked, and saved me a lot of anguish; I think Mrs. Rainford, who was a saint, understood, because I did that like every week for a year and she only called me on it once.) This is exactly what McCain is doing right now.

I just hope the Obama campaign (likely) and the media (doubtful) will display slightly less empathy than my Canadian primary-school teacher: they should call McCain on his BS, hold the debate on Friday as planned, and nail the whining sonofabitch to the wall. No bathroom breaks.

What Not To Do On CNN

This clip has been making the rounds today, in which Gov. Mark Sanford (R-SC) does a total faceplant trying to articulate any contrast between McCain and Bush on the economy. This is one of the worst appearances by a high-profile surrogate you'll ever see, and it highlights the severe message difficulty McCain's campaign is having on the economy. Look:

Brutal.

(Also, as Taegan Goddard notes -- we can probably strike Mark Sanford off McCain's VP list.)

Sympathy from the bottom of my heart

A message, from me, to those Harvard sellouts students who'd landed I-banking internships and jobs at the prestigious Bear Stearns, just to see their ambitions cruelly dashed. Ahem:

"HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA! HA HA HA HA HA! AHH, HA HA HA. HA."

UPDATE: From the Crimson article:

[J.P. Morgan spokesman Brian] Marchiony tried to assure prospective applicants that future recruitment would not be affected by the recent downturn in the market... Marchiony added that the troubles with Bear and the takeover by J.P. Morgan was a “unique situation."

"Unique situation." And if you believe that I've got a bridge to sell you. This whole system is on the verge of collapse and there's only so much the Fed can do...