Important advice for people buying food at the Science Center

(We interrupt our political coverage for this public service announcement.)

If you're buying a snack or meal at the Greenhouse Cafe in the Science Center, you may see a package of "Feng Shui" brand Hot Wasabi Rice Crackers. They look like this:

and appear to a healthy, tasty, slightly spicy treat. This is a lie. DO NOT PURCHASE FENG SHUI HOT WASABI RICE CRACKERS. You are better off paying $4 to be repeatedly punched in the face. I am sitting here, at my library job where I am supposed to be helping people; but instead I am struggling not to emit sinus fluid all over everything while screaming "Oh God! My precious head!"

I feel as though someone ground up a Jalapeno pepper into fine powder, then rubbed it into my eyes, using sandpaper.

You know that guy who poured bourbon into his nasal cavity? I know what that's like now.

Long story short: THESE THINGS ARE FUCKING SPICY. DO NOT EAT THEM.

That is all. Continue going about your business.

UPDATE (January 24): It has been a week now, and I still get an unpleasant feeling in my nose and throat whenever I so much as look at this blogpost. I reiterate: DON'T BUY THESE CRACKERS.