Good enough for government clicks

If anyone doubts that America is still the innovative leader of the free world that it has long held title to being, direct that naysayer to the glorious website of the U.S. Climate Change Technology Program. With nifty features like a "site map", a "search box", and a "sweet picture of George Bush with the 21st Century emerging from his ear", our government has once again shown it's got what it takes to be a Web leader in 1995! (Note: site requires the latest version of Netscape 2.0).

Above: Eerily reminiscent of a science textbook I had in seventh grade.

Joe Lieberman on Mukasey

"I can't think of a nominee for Attorney General who has been more independent of the president nominating him than Michael Mukasey in a long, long time," Lieberman said.

So, because the President would actively support waterboarding of people on the street to encourage them to tell him where the best pizza joint is, whereas Mukasey would just maybe tickle the guy while Bush dripped water down his throat, they're now independent of each other? What less-independent nominee might Lieberman have in mind by way of contrast? A petri dish of Bush's cheek cells?

Above: So dependent on the President, they can't even live outside of the warm confines of his mouth.

Whoa, what?

Buried at the very end of a same ol' same ol' article about Israel ...

Above: Ruth R. Wisse, faculty advisor for the Harvard Salient, dares you to speak a con word about Israel

... is this tidbit that the first class to graduate under Gen Ed will be 2013.

In other business, Professor Jay M. Harris—chair of the committee in charge of transitioning away from the Core Curriculum—said at the meeting that the present estimate is that the class of 2013 will be the first to graduate solely under the new General Education system.

Two observations:

1. Since when did the Crimson start breaking important stories according to the "by-the-way ..." method?

2. Will Gen Ed included courses on Soylent Green and nuclear-powered vacuum cleaners?

Laborers in the rumor mill

The buzz hit the Internets today that Hillary Clinton, that icon of upperclass snobbery, stiffed a poor waitress of a tip. Except ... she didn't.

But here in the Series of Tubes, whether or not something did or didn't happen doesn't matter much. So the Clinton team is trying to strike back with a "straight scoop" fact-checking blog. The idea is to set the record straight before it can get too distorted. Hopefully, then, we'll have fewer Swift Boat smears, Dean Scream disintegrations, and "I Invented the Internet" memes.

As nice as it is to see the campaign fighting back, I'll admit to a lot of skepticism about whether it's going to work. Even when the facts are set straight, political epithets stick ... and they're effective. It's nothing new; truth has never had a very healthy relationship with politics. In the Internet age, though, lies are ten times more lethal.

And Hillary's somebody who's going to have to be particularly careful about this. Fact is, a lot of people are just waiting to hear crap about her. It doesn't matter if it's true—if it plays to people's preset prejudices, it's going to work.

The Compartmentalization of Outrage

Eva posts below about the campaign against UBS's Darfur ties by striking back where it really hurts—their recruitment efforts. I'm very heartened by this petition, as it's at once clever—employing Ivy-leage graduates' power as sought-after commodities—and, also, likely to be effective—as places like UBS know they live or die by the quantities of prep-school education pumped into them. There's nothing in it, really, that a conservative could argue against. We're merely voting with our talent, refusing to lend our four years of education to the service of a corporation which underwrites genocide.

But what troubles me is the dangerous commodification of our social justice which we seem more and more inclined to slouch into. UBS, connected to the discrete moral outrage that is Darfur, may be petitioned against. But any other job whose sole purpose is to engorge the fortunes of the upper sliver of society? Not only are we willing to look the other way, but we're ready to line up at the door. Perhaps we will offer our signal disapproval of the clear-to-recognize injustice of Darfur. But a systematic injustice, one which agglomerates intellectual talent and chains it to selfishness and elitism? This abstraction is harder to rally against, and we seem maddeningly unwilling to do so.

Andy Card: The Man, The Myth, The Legend

Some choice excerpts from former White House Chief of Staff Andy Card's interview with the Crimson:

“Doesn’t it make sense to get together to say, ‘Okay, let’s not put press releases out on the same day that say things that aren’t consistent with the direction that the president has said we’re heading in? So let’s coordinate it,’” he said of the [White House Iraq Group's] rationale.

Card also said the group received incorrect intelligence information about what to expect in the wake of the invasion.

“I think they needed to demonstrate change, and I don’t think you can have a change without it being personified,” Card said in an interview with The Crimson.

[...]

However, yesterday, Card said his resignation was not simply a matter of personal preference.

Card, who was in Cambridge for a dinner at the Institute of Politics, emphasized that he did not want to leave his post at the time.

“Like, if the Texas Rangers were in town to play the Baltimore Orioles or something, [the president would ask], ‘Yeah, I’d love to see the Texas Rangers today. Can we get them in?’” said Card, imitating the president’s manner of speech.

“I said, ‘No, the schedule is jam-packed. You’ve got the president of Egypt, and the prime minister of this place, and six members of Congress,’” he recalled. “’I know you really want to do this, but you can’t do it today.’”

Above: No coloring today, George. We're going to meet Mr. Mubarak!

Sununu, we hardly knew you

Conservative editor of the Manchester Union Leader Andrew Cline, who apparently has been reading Dem Apples, writes in the OpinionJournal about New Hampshire's shift towards Democratic politics. He makes the following augur about John Sununu's prospects:

His task now is to convince voters that he is an old-school New Hampshire Republican, not someone who lost his way in Washington. Should he succeed at doing that, the race may turn on whether voters will be tired of punishing all Republicans for the sins of Mr. Bush. If so, Mr. Sununu could hold onto his job for another six years. If not, he'll be a goner.

Given the polling in the race, it seems like "he'll be a goner" is the safer assumption.

This is why the Internet is a net drain on society

Perhaps people in glass houses should not throw stones and all that, but ....

HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA

Dems Convention '07: Attention Deficit Edition

I can has convention?

Press conferences, FEMA style

Apparently FEMA forgot that you're only supposed to practice your speeches in front of a mirror, not give the actual thing in front of one.

I suppose we could get used to this new media convention, though:

Reporter Markus Kolic: Would you say you are satisfied or very satisfied with the fact that Dem Apples has singlehandedly saved over 3,000 dying swans and delivered them safely to needy orphans?

Garrett Dash Nelson, Dem Apples Press Secretary: Well, Markus, I'm glad you asked. I'd have to say we're very satisfied with that fact.

Above: Any further questions?

It-Which-Shall-Not-Be-Named

From Chris Lacaria's column today:

Meanwhile, the Office of Sexual Assault Prevention and Response (OSAPR), ostensibly a counseling and support group, this month prepares for a production of Eve Ensler’s impolite and immodest play, “The V----- Monologues.”

All of the six-letter words beginning with "V":

vacant vacate vacuum vadose vagary vagile vagina vagrom vaguer vahine vailed vainer vainly vakeel vakils valets valgus valine valise valkyr valley valors valour valses valued valuer values valuta valval valvar valved valves vamose vamped vamper vandal vandas vanish vanity vanman vanmen vanned vanner vapors vapory vapour varied varier varies varlet varnas varoom varved varves vassal vaster vastly vatful vatted vaults vaulty vaunts vaunty vaward vealed vealer vector veejay veenas veepee veered vegans vegete veggie vegies veiled veiler veinal veined veiner velars velate veldts vellum veloce velour velure velvet vended vendee vender vendor vendue veneer venery venged venges venial venine venins venire venoms venose venous vented venter venues venule verbal verbid verdin verged verger verges verier verify verily verism verist verite verity vermes vermin vermis vernal vernix versal versed verser verses verset versos verste versts versus vertex vertus verves vervet vesica vesper vespid vessel vestal vestas vested vestee vestry vetoed vetoer vetoes vetted vexers vexils vexing viable viably vialed viands viatic viator vibist vibrio vicars vicing victim victor vicuna videos viewed viewer vigils vigors vigour viking vilely vilest vilify villae villas villus vimina vinals vincas vineal vinery vinier vinify vining vinous vinyls violas violet violin vipers virago vireos virgas virgin virile virion viroid virtue virtus visaed visage visard viscid viscus viseed vising vision visits visive visors vistas visual vitals vitric vittae vittle vivace vivary vivers vivify vixens vizard vizier vizirs vizors vizsla vocals vodkas vodoun voduns vogued voguer vogues voiced voicer voices voided voider voiles volant volery voling volley volost voltes volume volute volvas volvox vomers vomica vomito vomits voodoo vortex votary voters voting votive vowels vowers vowing voyage voyeur vrooms vrouws vulgar vulgus vulvae vulval vulvar vulvas

It's true; The Vicars' Monologues really is impolite and immodest.

Again, give me a break

The Wikipedia entry for David Pilbeam earlier today:

He received his Ph.D. from Yale University. In the summer of 2007 he became interim dean of Harvard College, a post he promptly proceeded to dishonor and abuse by arrogantly attempting to wrest control of student group and party funding from the student government, effectively shitting on the students and earning their undying hatred.

The clause was removed, but it now reads:

In the summer of 2007 he became interim dean of Harvard College and quickly created controversy among the student body by ending a popular program designed to allocate grants to undergraduate parties in order to prevent Harvard complicity in underage drinking.

Gimme a break, gimme a break, quit bitching at Dean Pilbeam and being absolute ninnies. (Rejected Kit-Kat marketing jingle.)

Gore ’69 wins Nobel

The Nobel Committee announced this morning that Al Gore will win the Nobel Peace Prize alongside the Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change.

In related news, President Bush is rumored to be a strong candidate for this year's Miss Teen Texas.

Give me a break

Two observations, and a conclusion:

• Observation #1: Posters sporting the SDS fist have cropped up around campus, urging student to 'fight back', presumably to protest the revocation of the party fund.
• Observation #2: I was riding through Tercentenary Theatre on my bike last night to hear just enough of Ryan Petersen doing what appeared to be a practice for a speech to be delivered to President Faust's inauguration, and trotting out the line "today we take Harvard back for the students."

• Conclusion: If years of quiet racial intolerance, intransigent classist arrogance, gross support for exploitative and oppressive economic structures, tacit approval of an insulated and incestuous political ruling class, and the slow decay of idealism in young people have all failed to incite radicalism in Harvard students, but taking away their Natty Ice has, I will drink myself into a sad and silent stupor tomorrow, the occasion of my twenty-first birthday.

I fought the law, and, as expected, it won

As the fracas over the adminstration's revocation of the party fund and the consequent escalation of words continues, I think it may be worth, at least for a minute, stepping back and realizing on what grounds we're arguing here.

There are two inconvenient facts that, try as we might, we can't get around:

1. The party grant fund almost invariably went to assist people under the age of 21 gettin' mad crunk, as legal scholars put it.
2. To get mad crunk when you are under 21 is a violation of federal law¹.

This is, as we almost all agree, a stupid, regressive, and utterly senseless law. But those three adjectives don't modify the fact that it's still a law. And, ultimately, civil society relies on democratic processes to change the law, not hot air.

As I argued in my Crimson op-ed on marijuana, simply disagreeing with a law does not negate its existence. While this scenario is considerably different from that one, the same basic assertion remains: wishing a law were gone just doesn't make it so. In the final assessment, all our rhetoric about the party fund will likely never skirt the fact that the College also cannot simply breeze past laws which it finds inexpedient.

We may choose to object to a law because we think it's ridiculous—or because any sensible assessment of it marks it as so. But that doesn't mean we can merely ignore it. I ultimately agree with the assertion that our behavior should be regulated by a higher moral standard than the law, and that when the government acts truly unjustly, it ought to be ignored or revolted against. But, in order to keep both that belief and a faith in stable democracy on the same ledger, we've got to draw the line somewhere. Allow me to exhibit in pictures:

Above: The imperialistic, immoral, and utterly pointless Mexican-American War. Possibly worth refusing to pay your taxes to indicate your disapproval of.

Above: Pabst Blue Ribbon. While arguably delicious and likely worth advocating for modified laws streamlining the access of, perhaps not worth breaking the social compact which ties us to our government and our fellow men.

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¹ Edit: Kyle accurately points out that it's technically state law in concordance with federal riders on highway funds.